Inspired work of fiction.
It’s over. Last night’s show was a fiasco beyond disaster. The Clowns shined brightly though. But that is what they are there for, for exactly and despite what happened last night. To distract and entertain while more unpleasant things going on behind them.
The run in this town was never any good. Every time we come into this pit of a town, we face the worst shows of the tour. Thankfully we only had 2 days here. That means 6 shows. I wish this time we would have cancelled the shows here. Things might have turned out differently. It’s funny how you never really know what is going to happen, until it happens. You can rehearse, and plan, and block out things all you want. Control is an illusion created in your own mind.
Moxy was a fun guy. Man, could he juggle. At an after hours party, once, I saw him juggle 2 champagne bottles, 2 champagne glasses, a billiard ball, a revolver, and an egg. He would start by acting all drunk, he did not drink at all, and then he held the glasses upside down to imply their emptiness and in the air they went. He did it with such style. He then did the same with the bottles, and then just added them a one handed toss. He then did this drunken walk while juggling through the party, telling bad drunken jokes until he got to the pool table, where he snatched the 8 ball off the table. easily added to the mix. It was one of the best routines I had ever seen. He then walked into the kitchen, juggling the whole time, a few people followed with their camera phones. He came out of the kitchen with the added items of 2 eggs. To demonstrated the freshness of the eggs, he suddenly threw one across the room at a bad condo art print. It splattered halfway on the picture, half way on the wall. He then said, “Somebody toss me something!” I don’t know who threw the gun, the booze was flowing. Out of the crowd, and excited clamour was rising as Moxy juggled these 7 times in different patterns and adding a few fun balancing trick in it. It was so fun to watch. To signal that he was done, he took the revolver and shot each one of the items in turn. Just like that, BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM. He didn’t miss one, and none of them hit the ground.
Moxy wasn’t what I would call a ladies man, or a player. Hell, he hardly ever got out of face. He was way too dedicated to the show. He said that he didn’t like his human form. What ever that meant. He didn’t like it. When the show wasn’t going, he was working on his routine. Moxi was the hardest working Clown I ever met. I only saw him a few times out of face, and those few times are a haze to me any way. You know, coming back to the trailer so fucked up I couldn’t walk, Moxy would just tuck me in bed as I would amaze at his naked face. So my memories of Moxy without make up is blurry at best.
This town sucks! I never want to go back to Madison! The audience is always like performing to a pile of moldy sponges. We don’t even get the hot groupie wanna bes in this town. We don’t get any! What kind of show doesn’t get any groupies?
There are three bars we are welcomed at, one of which smells worse than the Clown Alley, so it is where we basically live when not working in this town. Because of the smell, I assume, we are the major patronage of this dive.
I think this whole thing is so damn weird. The cops still don’t have any answers for us. We have to move on with the tour. We can’t even take Moxy with us. When Ramone, Schitzen and I went to identify the body, the coroner had removed his make up and costume, which he handed to me in a plastic bag. Blood stains and all. Just 6 hours ago, this costume was clean and getting ready to work, now it is a bag of bloody scraps.
How strange it was to be looking at this man I had known for close to 30 years was now just a pile of flesh and bones. Now I am looking at his face for the first time in the long time I have known him. All of the wounds were cleaned. Some were slightly discolored from the shear trauma force behind the act. He had always worn a smile, but that was gone now. He was laying there cold, with his eyes closed.
There were hundreds of witnesses. It all happened so fast, and the cops still wont tell us anything. You would figure since they had the murderer in custody, and hundreds of eye witnesses they would tell us something. Especially that one kid, . Poor little guy, he was right there.
I ran away with the circus when I was 15. It was the best decision I have ever made. I was one of the lucky ones though. I met Moxy the first week is was there. He rescued me from the Roustabouts, and he kinda took me in, and showed me the ropes, so to speak. He wasn’t a creep, he was cool. He made me study practical shit like math, and explained that a clown that could not read nor write was a roustabout. He meant it in jest, but the point was clear.. You just have no idea how important math is until you need to learn rigging. Moxy was the first father figure I ever had, and he was awesome at it.
He taught me all about the circus too, and how we are all a special type of family, and Family is everything. Moxy was a kind soul. Weird, but very kind. He always did what he could to make the show better. He knew every person in our circus by first and last name as well as their birthdays and special things about them. Any new additions to the Family would all have their time with Moxy, and he would welcome them with open arms and warm wishes. He was a rare one.
Again, no one saw this coming. I really think the woman was confused at who Moxy was. I like to believe that. But then, the cops aren’t telling us anything. We can’t bury his body because the murder is still under investigation!
Ramone says that his cousin Philippe is going to stay behind and wait until Moxy’s body is released. He also said that we are going to go bury Moxy in Baraboo. Moxy always loved Baraboo.
It was the last show of the night. We were kind of excited because it was only the audiences that were sucking this year. Nothing with the show was going wrong. It really was becoming the best show in this city.
Moxy was setting up his plate spinning bit. It takes 5 people to be effective. This was one of the more popular bits due to the amount of audience participation. Moxy would get the whole audience into it. he loved that part so much. He had just collected his “4” volunteers. Really was 3 volunteers and one shill. The shill was to just be a total wreck. You know, unable to follow the simplest of requests. It was a lot of fun to watch. It was fun to be the shill too. This is the first routine Moxy taught me. I was the shill for years as I learned how to be a Clown.
Moxy had just got every ones plates spinning, except the shills, that was the fun part, as Moxy was “scolding” the shill for being so bad is when it happened. This woman came out rushing the ring armed with what looked like a base ball bat with spikes on the end of it. Turned out the spikes were steak knives.
She must have hit him 7 or 8 times before the roustabouts tackled her. She was screaming and spitting and kicking. It was horrifying. I have never seen such rage before, and I came from a shitty home.
I rushed up to Moxy. He was not breathing. She smashed the back of his head, and then his spine. there was blood everywhere. That poor kid. He was like 10 or something.. what was his name? I can’t remember. That woman took away from our family. She stole from us the joy in our step. She murdered the only father figure I had ever known.
She ended up having clobbered him 13 times before she was stopped. With the audience watching, you would figure that this whole process wouldn’t take so long. The only thing anyone has told us of any use was the coroner. He told me it only takes 7 pounds of pressure to break through human skin. He didn’t suffer much.
I sit here now, in shock at the violent act that ripped my life apart tonight. Moxy wouldn’t let me dwell on it. He would say “Kiddo, we all die. Make the most out of every day until you do.”
We are due in St. Lois in two days. Ready to perform. The show must go on.