Category Archives: Uncategorized

Love is Love is Love is Love

So you know Dear Readers, some subjects in this blog are intended for grown ups. If you don’t like what you read…. well, then i suggest you grow up a little, then come back to it.

Have you ever been in love? I have. I am right now. I love it too! What’s not to love about being in love? All the little things that make it so awesome:

The laughter. It is a non stop laugh riot over here. Oh Dear Readers, if you could be a fly on this wall just for the humor alone. My Love makes me laugh like no other. The kind of laugh that leaves tears in the eyes, and the belly gasping for air.

Doing fun things has never been so much fun! From infantile simple things like eating and pooping to complex concepts and theories of building the perfect time machine. There are some points in the future that need some adjusting so next week we will fix what happens tomorrow, once the thrust capacitor is aligned.

Small gestures are what makes people happy. Little tokens of friendship and desire. For my Love, I cook! I learn the most amazing dishes, and then perfect them. This of course affects my Love.

We are starving artists, essentially, so gift giving is often done with gifts from the heart. hand or head crafted tokens of esteem. Such as poetry and self portraits. These are priceless things, of course, simply for the singularity of it all.

Granted, because of the nature of this relationship, arguments are beyond brutal. Some of the things said in these arguments should never be repeated in the company of others. Forgiveness is not always easy, however, wins over in the end.

The sex, well, I remind you of the depth of this Love: beyond compare to any other kind of love. There isn’t a molecule of my existence that my Love can not touch or influence. My Love is very encouraging to me to have sex with men, women, and couples. It is a fun thought experiment, all in all.

When humans are in love, their world changes. For some, it gets dark, and scary. Sometimes all love needs a little darkness so we know what the light can do. For others, it is a routine, doing what mom and pop did. For the rest of us, it brings reality into a whole new dimension. Wonderful things that seemed unobtainable before, are now within easy grasp.

Here is where I tell you that my Love is not a noun in the context of this blog. It is a verb defining my emotional state about myself.

I started a Joke

When we last saw our intrepid Clown chuckles Douchet, she was embarking on a new journey of employment….

I am not even going to bore you with the details.  Really being a cab driver is just another job.  I don’t get the wild fares, I get normal people trying to just get from point A to point B.

I miss being a Clown.

And now all those ass hats scaring people while wearing clown masks and clown costumes…

It’s funny.  But to threaten someone’s life because you are scared..?  Really.  A big grown man is going to shoot another man, or woman because he has face paint on and has some balloons.  Let’s think about that for a minute.

The Clown, just wants to see people happy, wants to introduce the absurd and nonsensical.  Doing what a Clown must do, make people think, and laugh, and enjoy the moment.   During the Clown’s out of face life is not much different, they just don’t wear the costume and makeup all the time.

Clowns have lives too.  They have children, and grandchildren. They have brothers, sisters, aunties, crazy uncles, mothers fathers, friends, night time jobs that pay the bills.  Clowns eat and poop just like everyone else, except my farts smell like chocolate chip cookies.  No, really, pull my finger.

Some Clowns actually do a lot for society in general.  Shriners bitches… They are amazing clowns, with tiny cars.  I love the shriners.  If it weren’t for the shriners, thousands of children each year would go without the medical attention they need for severe conditions.

Does anyone ever think of those Clowns?  No!  They don’t.  Because they are such blind idiots they assume a pale imposter is the real thing.

It makes me wonder: Do any of these ass hats threatening Clowns lives have pit bulls, or staffordshire bull terriers?

Dear Readers, please be smarter than the average human, and understand that Clown lives Matter!

Work? Really?

Are you ready for another not so Clowny blog from me? Looking for some insight on little ol’ me? This is a “new job” blog. Nothing exciting here really, just opinions and thoughts on work. Not everything in my life is about juggling…. GEEEZ!

Ahh the nightlife.

Recently I had to rejoin the workforce because my life calling makes zero money.

If any of you know me at all, you should easily see that I can’t just have any job. Cubicles are not for me! Pushing pencils? What is that even about? Don’t we all use computers now? 9 to 5? I am too busy sleeping then to be bothered with working those hours. You can just forget about me working in fast food or in restaurants in general.

Not that I am poo pooing any of those who do any of those things, no no no! The world needs people who can do those things. Without you 9 to 5’ers, this planet would crumble, I think. I love the service industry workers! I am very good to my servers and wait staff! it’s just that I make a horrible server. I know not to bring down a restaurant’s reputation with my bad service.

I don’t drink, so bartending is a no go for me too. Asking someone who doesn’t drink to tend a bar is irresponsible at best, and those who try without knowing what to do… may god have mercy on your souls.

I tried looking for a job that would suit my needs. A position that would allow me to not have to drudge through hours of computer work and cold calling new clients. That sounds like a fucking nightmare to me.

Huzzah to the people who can have normal jobs! Make that money! Get it!

Me? What am I doing now? I am a cab driver now. In beautiful Portland, Oregon. The job suits me, I am not expected to be awake at 9 in the morning, ever! I don’t have mountains of paperwork to collate. There is no filing to be done either. Joy of Joys.

Again, for those of you who know me, and know what a fucking nerd I am, you can appreciate what I am about to say. The cab I drive is not a car at all, it is a Tesla. That’s right, I dive a mother fucking, sploosh worthy spaceship!

Spurs that jingle jangle jingle

Okay…. so being a Clown is not the most lucrative of business ventures. You all know what that means, right?  Well, I had to get a second job.  *sigh*  Yeah.  Can you imagine me having to get a real job?  HAHAHAHAHA! Me neither, so I landed a position as a cab driver.

There is this sort of romantic notion of being a cabbie.  They always seem to know so much about the city they drive in, and they know all the coolest places to go to and eat at.  They have all the truly interesting stories.

I can’t help but to believe that this is going to spur a new interest in writing.

Nectar of the Gods

I am sitting here sucking down the coffee today.  I turn to it in moments of stress, good or bad stress.  I am beginning to think I have a problem.  I mean, would I notice if I switched to decaffeinated? I am not sure I am sucking it down for the caffeine effect as much as I am seeking the comfort of a warm cup.  Or is it more like an Old West gunfighter at tthe bar for the proverbial shot of whiskey? It feels more like a security blanket at the moment.

Hiatus! Yeah, That’s What I am Calling it.

Psst!  Hey!  Remember this goofy Clown?  No? Yes? Maybe? You aren’t sure? It’s Possible?

Well, for those of you who are keeping up on the continuing story of my juggling skills, let me tell you: I still suck at it!

Not for lack of trying either. Oh no!  I have gotten pretty good at juggling two scarves in one hand. I assure you, it is easier for me to than two with two hands. Although the ultimate goal is three with two hands.  Yeah, I would be satisfied with three.

The world record right now is 11.  11 bean bags with 23 catches.  Impressive, I can’t do two, and this homie is doing 11.  Let’s see him in face, and then make him do his little juggling act… I bet he would get a standing ovation.

Zodiac, o zodiac, how you fit me

Until the early 20th century, astrology was taught at university level.  Ancient Jewish temples have intricate mosaics of the astrological circle. Carl Sagan said it over and over, we are made of star stuff.  How can we not be affected by the stars if we are made from them?

I was born in the beginning of April.  I am an Aries.  Aries is ruled by the planet Mars.  Both names are the names of gods, specifically the gods of war. Of course Aries is a fire sign.

I research my charts a few times a year.  I do this with a grain of salt of course.  But I do find it rather interesting that so much of what the charts say about me is true.

I have entered other dates of birth in the chart generators, and completely different results come up.  Oddly enough, these false charts are nothing like me.  I have entered friends birthdays, and got to read all about their personalities.  It does kind of give good insight, if you have the faith in your own charts, any way.

But like all other beliefs, it is within the person believing where the truth lies.

 

Challenge # 19. Code name: The Music Shuffle

The challenge says to pick three songs from my music library.  After I stopped laughing, I started laughing again at this challenge.  I do not have the time to go through my music and choose three songs.

So here I go again, Dear Readers, bending the rules to fit me.  Much like costuming, I will make it fit to me, dammit!

I might have touted my Pandora stations before here. I currently am listening to After Hours at the Chateau of Questionable Repute station.  It is an all jazz station, mainly focusing on jazz from the early 1900’s to the late 40’s.  Mostly instrumentals too.  Essentially I created this station to have playing in the background for late night get togethers and dinner parties.  It is upbeat and not obnoxious.  It doesn’t interfere with conversation, or other grown up activities, so to speak.

The music is fun and clever.  Very nice for dancing, or whatever

 

Sidney Bechet – If I Could Be With You One Hour Tonight. – a really nice dancing with someone song.  Lulling melody with a gentle rhythm guitar instead of percussion.

I always imagine that the conversation gets a little quieter during this song, a little more closer.  More touchy feely.

 

Bob Crosby and His Bobcats are a ragtime band that keeps the tempo moving!  March of the Bobcats is much more upbeat than the last Bechet song.  Still fun to dance to, and have a laugh with.

 

Next for our listening pleasure At After Hours at the Chateau of Questionable Repute we have Mr. Eddie Condon with ‘s Wonderful on Eddie Condon Dixieland All-Stars.

This song is in league with Bob Crosby’s previous song.  Just super fun to dance to, and just as fun to listen to, yet not as ragtimey.

I could play music for all of you Dear Readers all day long.  This blog saddens me that I can’t.

 

HAHAHAHAAH in the face of fears

I missed yesterday’s challenge because of one of my greatest fears.  My computer wouldn’t start!  I was separated from the interwebs.  OH NOSE! How can I get anything done? No music to fuel my soul. No word processing for me. No comforting instructional videos on juggling. No perving image searches on Alton Brown. But worst of all, no video games!

I had been having issues for a while, with my computer taking forever to load anything, or open anything, and then boom! I was seriously dreading the fact that it couldn’t work this hard for very much longer. Then, when going to show a friend some of my production photos yesterday The Beast (yes I named my computer The Beast) said it wasn’t gonna start until I fixed it.

I had a trick up my sleeve though!  I still have access to the interwebs on my stupid smart phone.  So to a Google I went a searchin’.  I only had to refine my search a few dozen times to get to an answer that fitted my problem.  Turns out I had a hardware issue.  

This is a good thing, it is easier to fix a hardware issue than a software issue.  Usually.  Although, sometimes it is an expensive quick to fix issue.  

I found a few sites that had a list of things to check before calling tech support.  I looked them over to see what I hadn’t done yet. All tech support says the same thing first, check the power supply.  Sometimes the machine isn’t plugged in all the way and that can be an issue.  It wasn’t for me, I knew that, but went through the stupid motions, just to tell tech support when I call that I went through that already.

Then most of the self help guides went directly into the computer and recommended taking out the innards of the computer and removing lithium batteries and such.  This seemed like a huge step from checking the power source.  Instead, I decided to look at a few more tech support suggestions.

I came upon an article that talked about keyboards being plugged into the wrong ports. The result of them being in the wrong ports matched all the things my computer had been doing for the past 4 months.

“There it is!”  I yelled to my dog.  She wagged her tail at me.

So I moved my keyboards double USB connectors to the correct ports, and to my utter delight, my computer then came on.  Not only did it boot up perfectly, but faster than it has in months.  Joy of joys!

I do fear that I can not fix my problems in life.  I am quite willing to face anything that I am afraid of.  I do not let fright keep me from doing things.  Fear keeps me moving forward.  My fear of failing myself is the best motivator I have.  Shucks, that fear alone got me to write this blog.

 

*$!@&$# Writing Challenge

Okay, so my wonderful, amazing, incredible, lovely room mate, best friend and hetero-life-partner, has weekends off, and they are always three day weekends.  There is no effing way I am going to keep my ass planted in front of my computer for any amount of time when her and I have fun to have!

Yes, my dear Dear Readers, I do have my limits. Life is too short to adhere to all the rules.  I am known for choosing my battles, and blogging totally loses out to having real life fun adventures.

So to satisfy my inner rule stickler, I am going to nail a few topics in one blog.  That way, you see Dear Readers, I am still on calendar track with this challenge, and I can do it again next week.  I have seriously fallen behind in my goals, I have to go back to day # 14!  Crap!  Okay, I can do this.  I mean, since I can and will bend the rules here, I am going to use it to my advantage and skew up the order in which the challenges are listed.

From Day 14 to Day 18!

 

  • My life in 7 years?
    • Professionally
      • I see myself touring the United States.  Ultimately busking across the nation to eat at as many BBQ places I can find.  Paying for it solely by busking.
    • Personally
      • Geez!  Taking care of my roomie, laughing somewhere with her.  everything and anything else is a mystery.
  • Three pet peeves?
    • Ivan Peevesjohan peeves
      •  the youngest of the three Peeves.  He is a little quicker to figure things out, but still runs off the edge of the table.  I hate that.
    • Matthalamew Peeveshamsternew-hamster-fluffy-food-wallpaper-hd-23619-animals-siayvo-giqxaqzn-700x400
      • the middle one.  he is fun to look at, and watching him eat is the cutest thing, he more resembles a tribble than the others.
    • Allan Peeves huooas
      • the serious one.  He has never bitten me, but I still approach him with caution.
  • A Quote I live by.
    • Clowns don’t do funny things, they do things funny.
      • It took this quote to open my eyes to the reality that I was born a Clown.
      • I feel that this blog is a fairly good example of this philosophy.
  • My favorite color.
    • Plaid
      • Who doesn’t smile at plaid?  That guy over there maybe, but he rolled his eyes at plaid, I think that counts.  He also said that he wasn’t going to wear those plaid pleated pants.
    • the rainbow.
      • Show me the jerk that isn’t awed by a rainbow.  Because, obviously,
        that person needs a hug!