*$!@&$# Writing Challenge

Okay, so my wonderful, amazing, incredible, lovely room mate, best friend and hetero-life-partner, has weekends off, and they are always three day weekends.  There is no effing way I am going to keep my ass planted in front of my computer for any amount of time when her and I have fun to have!

Yes, my dear Dear Readers, I do have my limits. Life is too short to adhere to all the rules.  I am known for choosing my battles, and blogging totally loses out to having real life fun adventures.

So to satisfy my inner rule stickler, I am going to nail a few topics in one blog.  That way, you see Dear Readers, I am still on calendar track with this challenge, and I can do it again next week.  I have seriously fallen behind in my goals, I have to go back to day # 14!  Crap!  Okay, I can do this.  I mean, since I can and will bend the rules here, I am going to use it to my advantage and skew up the order in which the challenges are listed.

From Day 14 to Day 18!

 

  • My life in 7 years?
    • Professionally
      • I see myself touring the United States.  Ultimately busking across the nation to eat at as many BBQ places I can find.  Paying for it solely by busking.
    • Personally
      • Geez!  Taking care of my roomie, laughing somewhere with her.  everything and anything else is a mystery.
  • Three pet peeves?
    • Ivan Peevesjohan peeves
      •  the youngest of the three Peeves.  He is a little quicker to figure things out, but still runs off the edge of the table.  I hate that.
    • Matthalamew Peeveshamsternew-hamster-fluffy-food-wallpaper-hd-23619-animals-siayvo-giqxaqzn-700x400
      • the middle one.  he is fun to look at, and watching him eat is the cutest thing, he more resembles a tribble than the others.
    • Allan Peeves huooas
      • the serious one.  He has never bitten me, but I still approach him with caution.
  • A Quote I live by.
    • Clowns don’t do funny things, they do things funny.
      • It took this quote to open my eyes to the reality that I was born a Clown.
      • I feel that this blog is a fairly good example of this philosophy.
  • My favorite color.
    • Plaid
      • Who doesn’t smile at plaid?  That guy over there maybe, but he rolled his eyes at plaid, I think that counts.  He also said that he wasn’t going to wear those plaid pleated pants.
    • the rainbow.
      • Show me the jerk that isn’t awed by a rainbow.  Because, obviously,
        that person needs a hug!

 

Commuter Hell

I have been trying to keep up on this writing challenge.  Being torn away from it last weekend, threw me for a loop.  But with this post, I am now caught up to the calendar.  I just hope the roomie doesn’t keep me from my computer all weekend again.

Which leads me to the topic for day 13 of this challenge: My commute to work.  heh heh heh.  well, I work from home.  So my commute is rather short, and sometimes done naked.  I have that luxury!

I throw off the covers, get out of bed, walk to the kitchen and start my day with the elixir of life: COFFEE! That is the hardest part of my commute, making it to the kitchen to make coffee.  There is a long hallway between me and the life giving brew, which is sometimes navigated with eyes closed.  I am sure there is some danger in my commute… I do have to contend with dog bones and cat toys in my path.  have you ever stubbed your toe on a rawhide bone?  It isn’t pleasant.

Don’t be jealous, though, it isn’t all that it is cracked up to be.  I never get to leave my workplace, I am constantly reminded I have a lot to work on, I get no breaks from me.  Working from home, or wherever I am, is nice, but sometimes I wish I could have a studio to escape to, or from.  Until then I am really happy to go to work in my skivvies, and have no one here to complain that I am creating a hostile work environment.

Two Word Amusement

The fun part, for me, about writing challenges, the challenge asks questions that don’t normally surface, I say normally, but this is a game I play often with new friends to see how quick witted and perverted they can be.  Two words together that make me laugh!

The thing about this game though, it can get pretty vulgar pretty fast.  i don’t mind much, but I know there are some of my Dear Readers might be more sensitive than others. (insert goofy emoticon here).

When we play this game, we take two innocuous words put together to make a derogatory term.  Of course my ultimate maturity level plummets at the slightest hint of sophomoric humor.  Yes, I am in touch with my inner perpetual 14 year old.  Aren’t you?

Words are fun to play with, it is why we write, right?  Here is a very short list of two word phrases that will send me into a fit of giggles, it’s only short because I have been put on the spot and was told to write about it, so of course I now have the biggest and longest brain farts a human can have.

My short two word gigglefest list:

meat curtain

under where

few too or too few

male stripper

blue balls

ass hat

corporate responsibility

door jam

politically correct

military intelligence

reality TV

 

True Love… A writing Challenge

Let’s talk about this for a minute or five.  I am very single, in a sense any way.  I am married to my career.  So I am a single married Clown.

My career, I am in love with it.  I love everything about being a clown.  Even the negative shit, like when idiot post teen and young adult women hide from me, feigning fright for attention.  As if they have never seen a girl with makeup on before.

My career encourages me to play.  With everything and everyone!  I get to play dress up every time I have a gig, and I get to dive head first into my makeup kit.  Most men have dated, complained about my overall maturity level, and the amount of makeup I buy.

My career insists on always getting better. It is constantly reminding me of things I do that other people need to see me do, or hear me say.  Where the men I date, are often embarrassed or confounded that I would say or do something so off beat.

Yes, it is all about my career as a Clown.  I am so very happy about the relationship I have with my working self.  I look forward to working every day!  Everyday brings a new facet of this beautiful thing I call a job.  I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to use such foul language towards something I love so much.  Please forgive the use of the word job.  I really didn’t mean it!

of Questionable Repute is my one and only!

Yes, We Have No Bananas

This is funny, today’s writing challenge.  I have to write about a fruit I don’t like.  I had to think, because when I don’t like something, I typically forget it’s existence.  Which is the case here.  I had to sit and think for a few minutes on a fruit that actually deserves my loathing.    Then I remembered.

Bananas!  I can’t stand bananas.  When I eat a banana, I can feel it burning my mouth, when I swallow it, I can feel it burning everything it touches as it slides into my stomach.  Then the real fun begins!  Oh the pain.  It feels similar to a 50 lbs cork screw being pound into my stomach.

Okay!  Okay!  Wait!  there is more!  Do I really need to get into my deepest worries of coming across a banana peel in a dark alley?

How Old Am I?

In efforts to catch up to my 30 day challenge I am going to face this subject today as well.  How do I feel about ageism.

How do I feel about ageism?  pfffffft! The young think they are sooooo smart!  That’s how I feel about it!

I knew when I was in my 20’s that I was a complete idiot.  I knew there wasn’t a lot I could do about feeling dumb, other than learn how to be a better person.

Now that I am a GrandMaMa, I feel that the world is mine for the taking.

I try not to poopoo at the under 30 set, I really do… You know, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all(?).  Just kidding..

Ageism is something we all are guilty of, and victim of.  There is no stopping it, other than living a healthy lifestyle, eat well, drink loads of water, don’t drink too much, definitely don’t smoke and understand when one should act like a grown up and when not to.

Slippery Challenge

My roomie takes me out of the apartment for a couple hours, and I lose two days!  Or is it three?  And today’s challenge is to be about books, one I really like and one I didn’t.

I have a cute home library.  A mere shadow of what it was before the Great Universe Flip in 2012.  When I had no choice but to lighten my burden and get rid of nearly everything.

I am not much of a fiction reader.  I have forced myself to read several literary classics, but if there is a movie made out of it, I would much rather see the movie.  Except the Harry Potter series, I re-read those every time a new one came out.  I even cried like a baby in the last two movies!

I feel that constantly reading fiction is a huge waste of time. In my opinion, reading fiction all the time is just as bad as watching reality television. If I am going to be sitting idle, I would rather be learning something.  Therefore, most of the books I have are non-fiction, technical, reference, historical, and philosophical. Of course blogs, I read a shit-tonne of blogs.

So when the request of writing about a book I love and book I didn’t, the same book comes to mind.  Clive Barker’s Imagica.  i had to re-start this book no less than 8 times!  It was so complicated I had to take notes, and highlight things, and underline things.  By the time I was finished with it, it looks like my second business math book from college.

 

Tattoos? Yes! Please!

I have tattoos.  Several.  I have been under the gun 9 times, to have what looks like 8 tattoos.  Both shoulder caps, my entire spine and the tops of my feet, oh yeah, and a band on my right arm.  I can write a thousand words or more for each tattoo.  so, instead, let me tell you how I feel about tattoos.

I hate them! Yes, I hate them because of Ink Fever.  That’s what it is called when you get  a tattoo, and immediately want a 100 more. Now if you do some simple math, multiply 100 by 9 and that’s how many tattoos I want to get.  They are expensive, and inevitably I will run out of space.  Sooner than most considering the size of my tattoos.

I feel that having tattoos is such a personal thing.  My tattoos are for me.  I keep my collection covered like the Yakuza would.  Most people do not see my tattoos, unless they are close to me and see me with less clothing on. Private and invitation only, staff excluded.

Tattoos do not always have to have a specific meaning.  Some have more of a here and now significance. While some are just flash art to fill the need of a tattoo.  There are even some just to cover an area for medical reasons.   

If you don’t have tattoos, you won’t know what it means to have one.  It really is that simple.  For those of us who do have tattoos, we can hear the next one calling us, telling us to come pick them up, that they are waiting.

 

 

Fascination

I had to look up the word fascinating.  to get a better understanding of what I am supposed to write about.  Then I am to pick one person to be fascinated with. I could list a number of people you might have heard of.  I could also tell you all about who I obsess on. Or even better yet, write about myself and how I struggle to juggle.  But that isn’t going to be the case here today.

My fascination lies with the human body.  I am completely enthralled with how the body and mind work together, and sometimes not.  Like when someone asks my room mate her opinion on something, it is funny to watch her explain that she can’t tell a lie, then completely bombard the person with the truth.  It never gets old.  You see, she can’t shut up once she starts because she has a brain tumor that keeps her mouth running like a leaky faucet.  You should also know that she is super passionate about what she believes in and is not afraid to be heard.  I love it.  But her brain and body kind of argue over what she is going to say and do.  But that is for another blog alltogether!

This pile of chemicals we call a body and all of its magical activities: The senses, the consumption and digestion, the motor functions.  The body smells the food, the body reacts.  The body sees the food, the body reacts more, sometimes with a grumbling in the center, because it really wants whatever smells so damn good. The body eats the food, the body is fueled and feels better.  The body uses the fuel to go tap dancing. The body passes the food (ahhhhh pooping, who doesn’t love it?), and feels better again.

Everything in the body is based on chemical reactions and electrical impulses.  All of our emotions are controlled by the production and intake of chemicals, you know, hormones and pheromones. A great way to witness this is to watch people dance. Tap dancing is such a great example of this too. The joy that a tap dancer experiences is apparent on their face as they dance.  The tap dancer’s body in motion being controlled by electrical impulses as the dancer feels the music throughout their body.  Fucking amazing!

It is so cool to watch the human condition in all its forms.  From the perfect ten to Quasimoto. We are all our own unique individual with our own thoughts and emotions.  Looking at people and how each one is so different from the next is a constant form of fascination to me.  Each one of those online dating profiles comes with a plethora of photos to perv out on, and believe me, I do perv out!

The power of positive thinking on the body.  Some people call it prayer, some call it channeling some call it good juju. Whatever you believe in is amazing and you should always share the positive energy you get from it with others. Belief in oneself can do wonders for the body mind and soul. Epic battles have been won with little more than a positive attitude.

We choose how we feel, ultimately controlling the chemical and electrical flow that is us. Positive thoughts and actions keep us aligned with one another, which makes this life in this body so great.

The Challenge: Where to Live

I travel a lot and I have been to a lot of places, most of which I could live if I had the desire. I have traveled to these places based on my lifestyle and opportunity.  So I would like to do this by process of elimination.

As far as Asia goes, I have been to Japan and Korea. The Japanese language is much easier to pick up than Korean. Both countries have amazing cuisine. Of course the traditional arts of the areas are not all that different. Let’s not neglect the history and culture is rich for all of Asia.

Having been to these countries gives me a fair gauge on what other Asian countries might be like.  I could see myself indulging in a season or two in Laos, or the Philippines.  But to devote my life there would be pushing it.

I recall, after living in Japan for a few months, I got this overwhelming feeling that more people could speak English than were letting on, and I thought that everyone was fucking with me.

Having grown up in the Southern California, Mexico and Baja Mexico were common holiday destinations for my family and friends, I have been countless times.  Only as far south as Cabo San Lucas.

I almost made it to Oaxaca for Dia de Los Muertos, so I could easily see me in a tiny village in that area of Mexico.  But really, I don’t think that I could handle the heat of the jungles there.

The UK and Canada have the beautiful weather I love so much.  So if I had to choose an European area like these, I would aim more for Italy or Germany.  The clown culture there in Europe is very thick.

There are some places in the United States that I have not been to.  I have not been to anything north of Florida on the Eastern Seaboard. And I have been as far east in the north as Ohio.  New England is a mystery to me, and that is where so much of the United States history is.

I could fancy myself in a seaside bungalow somewhere in the Carolinas. or a total polar opposite and say Kawaii. The important thing here is the seaside.

All of this talk  of living other places I have never seen, just makes me want to travel more!  It makes me want to live out of my suitcase for a while (patience, tour is coming!).  Often I go to places I haven’t been, so, yeah, I say, I will choose my suitcase and a random direction.